spaz attack

guess what? i'm freaking out again about having another baby. i feel so overwhelmed. i can barely keep up with claire!!! what am i going to do with a 20 month old and a newborn???? having a newborn is hard enough. all this stress isn't good for me. i'm being such a spaz.

not sure if anyone remembers (not even sure if anyone even reads this!!!) but with claire's 20 week ultrasound, they couldn't visualize 2 parts of her brain. i had to wait another month for any reassurance that she was okay. i'm kind of scared they will find something like that. there are so many things that can go wrong during development and it just scares me. of course, i'm ecstatic about finding out the sex of the baby. i honestly have no preference. a girl would be cheaper, but that doesn't matter to me. i'm also not sure about circumcision for a boy. i don't want to make that decision and i don't want to have to convince eric that we shouldn't do it. i've always been kind of iffy about it, but now that the possibility is staring me straight in the face, i feel so reluctant. i really DON'T want to do it. i guess we'll see.

eric's mom still doesn't know i'm pregnant. when she actually does talk to eric, all she does is blab on and on and on and he doesn't get a chance to tell her. i guess that's okay with me. this way she won't want to be involved at all. ignorance is bliss. ;) eric's dad actually wanted to spend the night at our house the other night to do laundry. thankfully, eric said no before i had to get involved. ;) haha. i'm not being mean or selfish...neither of these people deserve to be in claire or velveeta's life. i think most people who know the situation would agree. if not, then that's their choice!

i really want some ice cream but i'm all phlegmy. gross. i don't want to make it any worse.