The death of my cousin was really hard on me. I can't believe that her two little daughters (only 6 weeks younger than my Claire) will grow up, never remembering their mommy. When Eric's brother passed, that was a whole different story. When someone dies from suicide, there are always so many questions and there's always a lot of guilt by just about everyone who loved the person. Eric is having a hard time with it and I'm not sure how to help him through this. He's going to start going to counseling, but I should probably do something to help him too, right? I've never been in this position to comfort someone who is grieving with their whole heart. It just makes me sad...for Eric, and especially for Billy's family. I wish there was more that I could do. :(
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
PPD
Okay I'm officially saying it...I have postpartum depression. With recent events in my family, things haven't gotten any better. My doctor keeps wanting to prescribe me an anti-depressant but I'd rather just go to counseling. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking an anti-depressant and I don't think that only 'crazy' people take them, I'm just not interested in it yet. I took Xanax about 7 years ago and I just didn't like the person that I was while taking it. I'm scared I'll have that same reaction to Zoloft. That being said, I still haven't called to set up my appointment for counseling. I'm avoiding it, I guess. I think because that means I will actually have to talk about it.
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Make your appointment! I'll harass you 'til you do (I suffered from depression for YEARS so I really will be on your case!!) ! The diagnosis of PPD is one thing, but you gotta deal with it for your sake and the kids... and I know you know that.
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe how much family tragedy came your way all close together :( I am praying for you (and Eric and other family) as you work through the healing process!
I had PPD with Ella, but didn't realize that was why I had such a funk for a LONG time. EXERCISE! Seriously. Start doing if every day. It helps so much. Also, it helped to have a friend who knew what I was going through and was also struggling with it. And getting out and about. Play dates. Don't isolate yourself!
ReplyDeleteSucks growing up without a parent (my dad died when I was 5). Poor babies! I hope they have an awesome dad. I turned out ok... :) Hope your day looks up, Dear!
Also, you can take the supplement St John's Wart. :)
ReplyDeleteZoloft isn't bad at all. I use to take it before I got married then I weaned off of it and I use to go to counceling. I am sorry about your cousin and Billy too. Getting out walking on a walking trail with the kids or hanging out with a friend will help you :)
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